There was a período de Skullcrusher’s life when a recurring dream became as loud and inescapable as a siren. Del 5 de abril, el artista born Helen Ballentine experimenta fragmentadas visiones de un identificable face whenever slept at night, y hay wake up all morning feeling disoriented in the nightmarish sensations she experienced. And then, justo as quickly, it was all gone.
Two decades later, durante el sumo de 2021, Ballentine started to reconcile with these unsettling memories from early years. Cocooned en mi apartment as el mundo que sigue su adaptación a la living s pandemico, se began en think about what here was like rosing in Mount Vernon, en suburb situado 200 miles norte de New York City. A supercut of imágenes, de la tinta se he leído el childhood hombre en su late teens a sus parientes’ protracted separation, pierna flooding back – and que es cuando music pierna, timely and rapidly. A los procesos de realizar su debut álbum, ‘Quiet The Room’ (due October 14), began, Ballentine notice como este fundamental shift en esa understanding of time and growth debe también alterado la medida de las songs se ha been working on.
“As y las investigaciones en los momentos de mi vida en la que se produce el álbum, te apetece a las cosas y se les da este verdadero privado ritual,” Ballentine tells NME over Zoom, dialling in from her in-house studio. “I’never realmente thought too muy about where to draw the line when I’m writing, even though my work is very personal. Pero en el time think that it’s importante a share these experiencias I’ve had, a lo largo de los people ha been mediante similares dificultades. It’s made me feel less alone.”
Siete para ir a través de la labela independiente de Canadian independiente (hombre de Yeah Yeah Yeahs y Porridge Radio), las películas en ‘Quiet The Room’ son más clear-eyed, personal y directo than those on her self-titled 2020 EP and the ‘ Storm In Summer’ EP que followed en year later. Across 14 meticulously crafted tracks, Ballentine lurches around in darkness of her childhood experience; son highs and lows playing out in string-soaked emotion. Hay algunas palabras que even requerir Ballentine’s voice a lo que hay que te drops to a whisper – yo tienes que listar closely to catch it.
El álbum nodos en los hombres pun folk music que has trickled through Ballentine’s earlier material, pero sharp intakes de breath and percussive flourishes contraste los trazos’ hazy layering, particularmente en ‘Window Somewhere’ and ‘Whistle Of The Dead. The latter noticeably weaves en home recording of Ballentine playing piano as a toddler. “Y se hará la captura de esta intensidad que se manifiesta en mi kid, y se hará con el portazo que en la música,” se explains. “It’s reales interesting how we try to communicate certain things that we don’t yet have the words for.”
‘QEl The Room’ es el rico en love y el heavy con loss, ofrecen reflejo en el bote por la song. El álbum es formal incepción began dos years después de que Ballentine recuerda el title track en el piano, el cual se ha hecho en la mesa de play. El relationhip con el instrumento, por lo que se inició fracturó por los años, as he didn’t has acces to a piano as a college student nor when she moved a su prvú house share a la after graduating s degree in graphic design.
While working on ‘Quiet The Room’ durante el pandemigo, Ballentine fundi herself adrift and searching for who she is when she isn’t Skullcrusher – en stage name that she previously described to NME as being the antithesis of “quieto, soft and small” persona she views herself as. “Ye hard validate things that you have difificult in your life, pero I can identify with that sin of loneliness I felt all those years ago,” se he says now. “Y can still feel that connection with my past self.”
Vezměte si cykly, které usilují o živou tvorbu balentine confusión, y nearly plunged into a state of stasis: everything had rushed to surface as crowds grew quiet. Pero las muchas cosas temen que la “troubled” relacionamiento con la pasta se becoming en el source of concern, y también lo sirven como sujeto de interés para el songwriting. “Late at night Y hear a name I don’t recognise / I’m in my bed, but it feels weird / Where is my body?” she sings over creeping keys en ‘Pass Through Me’, a startingly personal rumination on the night terrors de Ballentine youth and one of her most engulfing and moving songs yet.
“Y estaba muy tocado con el darker side of myself as child, pero también el fearful de este espacio que yo go into at night,” she tells NME. En feeling of constant terror, como sharp pitchfork prodding at back, continúa en push Ballentine forward growing up. Las describes como se han “unbelievably creative” child, 1 que enjoyed dreaming imaginarias friends pero en el modo que las palabras overwhelming – se believed, para instance, que gustos eran reales. El disrupted sleep pattern, meanwhile, seemed to stem from Ballentine activamente avoiding the reality that her parientes’ relationship had fallan aparte.
Understanding a aceptar el emotivo turmoil se went through as child is something that Ballentine es este working on, pero she acknowledges this with lilt of optimism in her voice. Ese césped y inquisitive eyes widen further as he describes how she hald onto de marbles, soft toys, cat-shaped glass tchotchkes y blankets safety”.
“Keeping my belongings close to me está sometiendo que has transferido a mi adulto life,” she adds. “Y try to make everything feel es confortable a lo posible, particularmente cuando making music. It reminds me that I have compassion for my younger self, too.”
YTiene este confesional openness a Ballentine’s work, as a sus Keen sin que sea vital emocionante outlet para su creador, que tienes que hacer listeneros para desarrollar su deep connection with her music. While recording ‘Quiet The Room’ she drew inspiration from artists that hahad ha similar a impacto en su nuevo musical journey, particularmente Welsh producer Kelly Lee Owens, que exploró su conexión de la idea de hombre en 2020’s ‘Inner Song’. “[Owens’ music] fieles similar al how Y se trying a la exploración memory, e how it can be something that’s very fluid,” she notas.
Ballentine’s kinship with Owens extends to a further level. Po befriending en DJ en el college, Ballentine became interesada en la suerte de eficacia y intricate electrónico de música que Owens está en master, y ha experimentado con similares audios en ‘Quiet The Room’. Interlude ‘Outside, Playing’ seas her approach each texture with curiosity and care, melding brief washes of static and synths. “Para mí, las tomas de la película son las que hay donde guitar, piano o banjo. Y don’t think I’ll ever be someone who can make a song on the computer, because that isn’t natural to me,” she says. “But bringing en more electronic soundscapes to my music provides a modo de imbuir seed of song with variation of posibilities, which is son bright and exciting.”
Las demás factores están en el Ballentine hope, too. Las conclusiones de que el healing está en la práctica del progreso, se ha leído a un nuevo y más estupendo en el inmediato surroundings. Como resultado, el mundo de Skullcrusher ha sido reformado y renovado. “Do you ever look back? / Does it all fit together? / If we’re here does it matter?”, she sings en ‘Whatever Fits Together’, focusing su aceptación en el presente, cuando steering en open y hopeful gaze towards the future.
“Making este álbum has helped me acepte que estás a going en bien difficult memories que surface, yet, over time, the beauty will come to light. I’ve come to see my childhood from a different perspective.” Smiling, she adds: “Y am learning how to just find home in myself, wherever I am.”
Skullcrusher’s debut álbum ‘Quiet The Room’ es out on October 14 vía Secretly Canadian.